Fatherhood doesn’t have to be a personal endeavor.

gAmerican literature is full of it. Of books about fathers, Philip Roth, John Updike, Richard Ford, Junot Díaz, David Gilbert, Jonathan Franzen, Jonathan Lethem, and many others have written novels or memoirs about father-son relationships. Mostly from the perspective of the son in many of these works. The figure of the father becomes the embodiment of masculinity. or old values Or the world of adults that confuses my youngest son. It is not often that you see young people who are confused. father On the face of it, it is interesting to see two contemporary male writers, Charles Bock and Alejandro Zambra, write in great detail about their transition into fatherhood in two recent books reflecting on their approach to fatherhood. Mother in two very different ways

Bock is the author of two novels. beautiful child and Alice and OliverThe latter is drawn from true events: it is about a couple dealing with their wife’s leukemia. which was diagnosed shortly after she had her first child. This happened to Bock’s first wife, Diana Colbert, who died in 2011, leaving him to raise three-year-old Lily, his new memory. I’ll do better than this.Record of events in the early years of raising children alone And there is an urgency to convey the details. Like a fictional story Zambra’s new hybrid collection children’s literatureHis translation into English by longtime translator Megan McDowell is very different. It’s a meandering and relaxing journey through fatherhood. A 360-degree tour: in essays and the occasional short story. He examines not only his own experiences raising his son Silvestre, but also the impact of fatherhood on his friendships. His reading and writing also His football fans and many more.

I’ll do better than this.contrary to children’s literatureThere was so much concentration in his heart that even Lily Bock’s daughter Still feel that he is lacking in perfection. There is a moral obligation. or the chaos of childhood Instead of being fully described, in many scenes she is in a baby carriage. Travel literally and figuratively. but turned away from the main character. I’ll do better than this. It’s about Bock: Its basic chorus is I, I, I– It represents fatherhood as a heavy responsibility. One thing that instead expands on Dad’s life and perspective. Instead, compress it to make it as small as possible. children’s literatureContrast that with whispers of abstinence. you you youboth in the singular and in the plural It represents fatherhood as an emotional and intellectual relationship. Not just for children But it also includes childhood: growing up, exploring, and all the confusion that goes with it.

Anúncios

I’ll Do Better – Memoirs of a Father of Heartbreak Child rearing and love

by Charles Bog

Anúncios

Both Bock and Zambra are aware of the rarity of paternity books. And truly Stories of men who are and discuss all aspects of early childhood parenting. Bock begins his memoir by admitting that he never wanted to be one. In fact, he never cared at all about having children. He calls himself “One of those fathers who sometimes even called his baby ‘it'” and shared an anecdote about Diana. Early diagnosis of cancer Hiring an undergraduate student to push Lily’s baby stroller in the hall outside the classroom at She teaches instead of leaving her child with Lubbock. After Diana’s death Lubbock found himself awash not only with grief. But also feel resentful. He didn’t even intend to do half the work of raising children. Now he had to do it. all– He loved his daughter, but at the time, he described any father who would take on all the responsibility for raising a child. “Give them manhood.”

Bock is a brilliant writer. And he had deliberately shown himself before. Which is the identity that becomes the parent. And being a single parent—to be an idiot. It’s right there in the title: I’ll do better than this. Follow his transformation from a callous, callous boy to a steady, devoted, tried-and-true father. He successfully followed that arc. It shows negotiations with babysitters and family members. Consideration of changing careers and the changing romantic life He also wrote movingly about his struggles to help Lily process her grief and find time to grieve for herself. But an unsatisfying sense of self-pity still exists in modern-day Bock. Mostly there is a sense of persistence as a father. He has less right to care for his child than he has to. At the end of the book, he writes, “By most traditional standards of manhood I don’t think I’m doing very well.” However, he noted that “There is some consolation in not meeting such standards. But you need to change the format.” It’s a good idea. But it is not the idea that the message conveys.

throughout I’ll do better than this.Bock wrote that he was lonely and unwilling to ask for help. He presents this as a form of masculine pride that he regrets having, writing: “Men keep themselves apart.” Of course, he knows in the abstract that this isn’t true for everyone. But when I read his memoirs I wondered again and again about him. I know The only other man who appears on the pages at any length is his therapist. He shows himself to be the only father on the playground and the only father involved in his literary circles. During the chapter he debates sending Lily to live with her grandmother in Memphis. So that he could write and date more freely, he thought, “Mothers with young children Whoever wrote the script would learn guerrilla warfare, they’d have to. Dad, no, Philip Roth doesn’t want to waste time at his desk taking care of little Bubby.” writer (and, by implication, their spouses) here. Note that Bock’s chosen example is Roth, who never had children. Instead, say Michael Chabon, a father of four who wrote a book about parenting. But it also reflects the curiosity about his father’s experiences—or perhaps about any experiences but his own—that makes all memories permeate.

chindi literatureOn the contrary It is a very curious book. Form follows function in a mix of styles: there are memoirs and novels. Simple linear article and fragmentary articles It’s a fascinating confusion. Like fatherhood according to Zambra, a native of Chile. Became a father at age 42 after settling in Mexico City. Clearly, he does pretty much hands-on parenting on a daily basis. He did not succumb to the trend of mathematically describing the division of household labor in his household. But he noticed that his son grew up in a family that was different from his own. “No woman serves any man (and) belongs to the father who makes him breakfast every morning.” What is clear is that he likes to make those breakfasts. “(P)birth,” he wrote, “is A real party for me.”

It is an apt comparison to choose. Although many articles on children’s literature It was scheduled during the pandemic lockdown. This collection shows no signs of separation. But it was full of Zambra’s friends, his editor. (One of them encouraged him to write for children. which is a suggestion that makes him proudly decide that he writes in a “children’s style”), his greatest enemy (read: any adult who has somehow insulted his son), and his father who is far away Playing complex fantasy games with Silvestre via video chat every week, Zambra is very pleased with these calls. And more broadly, sharing his son with others. When an acquaintance asked, during a late night, alcohol-induced crisis, whether he should have children, Zambra responded by inviting him to spend the afternoon with Silvestre as “field research”; When Silvestre started school, Zambra was excited to see him and his classmates. “Walk away from your parents with happy turtle steps.”

Of course, the main form of sharing is children’s literature Zambra is sharing Silvestre with readers. I often feel a feeling emanating from the pages. with tiny, precise details, the same pride I feel when I show others videos of my own child (“Today,” Zambra writes in the title essay. which is a collage of my son’s first year. “You learn to imitate the baker’s call.”) children’s literature Full of fun and play: “Parenthood,” Zambra observes. “Relegitimizes the game we give up on when our sense of vanity takes over.”

Read: A book that captures my life as a father.

Zambra’s book doesn’t ignore the trials and complications of having children. Two of his short stories are very much about the difficulties of parent-child relationships. And he is not cheerful about his own worries. Especially the tendency to use the son as “Anti-depressants or tranquilizers,” Zambra suggests that having children is one way to “Testing new definitions of happiness, love, or physical exhaustion,” and when he compared fatherhood to a party, he added, “Even the best parties have moments when elation mixes with uneasiness. or An unpleasant reminder that we still have to get up early to do the dishes tomorrow.”

But no matter how much discomfort appears in the book, children’s literature It remains affectionate and optimistic, expansive and sometimes repetitive. Finally, there is a return to Bock’s words, a reconsideration of his own manhood. Early in the collection, Zambra wrote: “For a long time literature has avoided sentimentality like the plague… And the truth is, when it comes to writing about our children, Joy and Gentleness challenge old masculine ideas about communication. Then what to do with the sheer joy and satisfaction of watching a child learn to stand up or say his first words?” His answer was simply expressive. to pass on to others to receive that piece Choose ordinary public happiness. Beyond his personal struggle to express his feelings accurately and without cliches.

This decision reflects the philosophical differences between children’s literature and I’ll do better than this.: The first is external. The latter is internal. Zambra’s articles and stories contain a lot of self-reflection and analysis. But the basic purpose of the documentary that dominates the book is to show readers his son. His Son’s World and the worlds of fatherhood that overlap but are not the same. On the contrary Bock’s memoir is all about showing the reader his own experiences. It focuses on his difficulties and his imperfect ability to rise to the occasion. It’s about being flawed. which is accessible and also builds confidence But when you go deeper It’s not a new way to write about fatherhood: Updike’s Rabbit Angstrom and Ford’s Frank Bascombe are both first and foremost flawed family men.

Despite—or perhaps because of—the court’s willingness to punish. children’s literature Feeling much refreshed It not only challenges stereotypes of masculinity in literature; But it also includes an abiding and enduring vision of fatherhood as a part of man’s private life rather than public life. Zambra represents fatherhood as a form of participation in society. As Bock writes, that it is an individual’s moral journey Both visions contain and reflect reality. But as a member of society There is no doubt that anything would compel me more.