My boyfriend is moving in with his ex.

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Dear James

I am a 73 year old woman dating a man the same age. We get along well except for one problem. His previous girlfriend still lives at his house. He left so that she could continue to live there. He had been living in a friend’s second home for more than a year. But now it was time for him to return to his own home. This means that soon he will be with his ex. Because he refuses to change the situation, why is her financial situation not good? And she felt guilty. He doesn’t seem to understand why I have a problem with this. As he confessed his love for me But I don’t think I can continue this relationship as long as he lives with his ex. Am I being unreasonable?

Dear readers

People come together to get through this life together, right? Two cellars one room in the attic; Three days in this apartment Four days in there; I’ll take the sofa, you take the bed, she’ll move to Sweden. And the dog can sleep where he likes. But in order for bad management to work All parties need to subscribe to more or less the same version of reality.

Which is not the case here. You and your boyfriend—and I’m painting a beautiful, possibly completely wrong picture of him in my mind: change-hating, people-pleasing, decision-delaying, lazy, mercurial, macho. As I please, indeed—have arrived at the old Frostian crossroads. This is where the two roads separate.

Why can’t we all get along? He wants to know you, me, my ex. and the postman who stops for tea What’s so complicated about that?

But for you, it’s madness. His ex-girlfriend? Live with him in his house? share a house with him Areas in the home that still have some old relationships, such as used car parts. carburetor here And the windshield wipers there? It was an intolerable situation. And I think you have to trust yourself here. Your boyfriend is showing emotion. He said he loves you But he doesn’t do a good job of listening to you. Just like the kids say

My advice: kick him around a bit, metaphorically speaking. He may have developed a thick layer of fleece around his brain to protect him from the pain and hardships of life. You have to penetrate them, hit them, or stab them through them. Help him understand how stupid he is. Eventually he would get it. Or he won’t accept it. And if he doesn’t You will know what to do.

Dancing from one difficulty to another.

james

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