My friend turned me to her conservative parents.

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Dear James

A few months ago I came out as bisexual to a group of high school friends. They were supportive and appreciated my request to keep it to a minimum. (It’s not that I’m ashamed, I just don’t think my sexuality defines who I am. (And we live in a conservative area.) The problem is: A friend and I planned to go out together, but that day, before we met, She told me her parents rejected it. I could tell she was hiding something. When I press you She confessed that she told her parents, who are very Christian and conservative, that I was bisexual. Now her parents won’t allow us to hang out. Because they think I am “Bad Influence” The funny part is that I’m a religious person. I think being a Christian is a bigger part of who I am than being bisexual. But her parents ignored this.

Complicating matters is that this friend and I were on a competitive team at school. And her parents were closely involved. But now they avoid talking to me. I told a friend that her parents treated me hurtfully. I also told her that I wanted to say to them, “Listen, I know I’m gay and you don’t like that. But please. Let’s put aside my sexuality and talk about what we have to do for the team.” ” But my friend said that if I said this It would destroy her relationship with her parents. I couldn’t help but think that this would be her fault. Because in the end Instead, she made me go find them. Am I overreacting? What should I do?

Dear readers

On behalf of adults everywhere I’m sorry for the behavior of your friend’s parents. That they were apparently left at an undeveloped level of consciousness is no excuse at all. You are showing more maturity. Not to mention being more concerned about his daughter’s feelings than he was.

I think you should do whatever your gut tells you: if you feel like having a direct conversation with your friend’s parents would clear the air and improve the atmosphere around your game, go for it. A surer, more solid approach might be to stay. Above: not exploded; continue it; to treat these parents as adults Ignore their pettiness and discomfort. Essentially, this makes them an example of a responsible and charitable personality one day. one One day, in the realm of today’s clouded conscience It might spark a reaction and shake them off it. And if that’s not the case? That is their problem. And their loss—not yours.

As for your friend, she has really disappointed you. But God knows what it’s like at home for her. Stay with her if you can. This is how true friendship is born.

good luck,

James

Dear James

One and a half years ago My wife told me she cheated on me 10 years ago. It was a one-night stand while on the way to work with a co-worker. They kept in touch for many years after that. And he also says she politely declines if it’s flirting (I’ve seen the DM). We went into marriage counseling for two and a half years before this came out. During that time, I asked her a few times if she’d ever been unfaithful. no Each time she looked me in the eye and said no. We have counseled more since the book of Revelation and are in a good place—more than a good place. This bomb exploded almost everything about those early days. of our marriage and amidst the massacre We have recreated something more important and real. This is similar to what we have when we first fall in love. I’m grateful for that. I love my wife and the family we’ve built, but I can’t sleep at 4 a.m. and I think like this. It still makes me brave. There won’t be any at all?

Dear readers

It’s 4 a.m., right? Gremlins come out; The building collapsed. A haughty doubt and a fear of victory. Sounds like your wife (Finally) in front of you and your second marriage If I can call it It was proceeding well. So try to make a commitment to this new reality together. Where the old comfort and stability is no longer available. But—perhaps because of that—you become more alive. And more vitality = more pain. And be happier too I’m pretty sure that’s the equation.

Forgiveness: You have to keep adding to it. (Remember that your wife has things to forgive. you For.) Didn’t Jesus mean when He talked about forgiving your friend 70 times 7 times? It is not that there are 490 separate offenses; There’s only one And you have to continue to forgive it, in your heart, over and over at 4 a.m.

But then like. said Tennyson.“When you wake up in the morning, there’s a will.” Up and at ‘em. Draw wider the curtains. Make coffee. Embrace your spouse.

Staring at daylight,

James

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